[Food for Thought Friday] Hurricanes and blogging

So I may have mentioned before that I live in Florida. But more specifically, I live in the panhandle which was recently rocked by a Category 4 hurricane. It wiped out a whole town essentially, plus severely crippled a lot of others in Florida and Georgia. Places are looking at a month, if not longer, without power–assuming they have more than a slab to go back to. About a half dozen school districts are closed until further notice, as well, and temperatures are still reaching the high 80s/low 90s during the day.

My city got lucky, we just had like 90% of the city without power (plus miscellaneous tree damage to homes), and most of that has been restored a week later. I fortunately wasn’t in town (nor was my dog), and my house came through without damage. (Plus my power was restored within 36 hours, so major luck. I had friends without for five days.)

I don’t have a call to action here, except maybe that climate change is real and it’s important to vote for politicians who believe in it.

Anyway. Onto the questions for this week.

Where do the ideas for your content come from? 

When I’m on top of things (so never), either real life, various prompts, or just whatever has been rattling around in my brain.


How do you get inspiration? Who or what inspires what you post?

Boredom in my job/life is what usually gets me posting (hence why it drastically dropped off when life got busy). I also use to occasionally write fan fiction (no I won’t link it), so having a sexual wiring outlet is helpful. In all honesty, I think if my fiancé was more okay talking about our sex life with other people, I would post more content. It would likely mostly be elaborations on various fantasies or scenarios I’ve sexted him (or we’ve done)

How do you decide  what to share, and why?

I mostly decide what I’m not going to share. Like photos. If I wasn’t worried about doxxing, I’d post for the photo prompts. Directed stuff is a little easier to respond to, although I am incredibly behind in my blog reading

And this is after I made an effort to get through everything…..

I’m just going to chalk it up to being an Aries

#F4TFriday
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[Food for Thought Friday] Me Party

So it turns out going long distance, planning a wedding and an interstate move, working way too many jobs and trying to properly take care of the dogs and house leaves me super busy. Bleah. I’m trying to write this one on a walk, but it’s dependent on them cooperating.

What activities do you indulge in to take care of you?

I gym, I bake, and I try to eat (relatively) healthy. I need to work on just taking time to chill out, but it’s hard when I’m the only one having to handle a to-do list so long it’s a multitab spreadsheet (I wish I was kidding)

How regularly do you make time for yourself?

Probably over half the week. Ideally it would be every day, but I haven’t figured out how to work something quick and simple into a daily schedule.

Is your sex life part of your self-care regime and, if so, what part does it play and how?

I’d probably say no, honestly. Maybe when we’re doing aftercare/cuddling stuff? But sex is mentally taxing, so it’s harder to justify it under self-care. Fortunately it’s not quite a chore, though

#F4TFriday

[Food for Thought Friday] There’s a pun for this…but I’ll spare you

How do you employ your senses to enhance your enjoyment of sex?

Hmm. This is a tough one. I’m sure I do? I just can’t think of any specific way. Since we’re about to go long distance, I’ve been meaning to add perfume to our sex scenes so he associates the smell with me, since it’s supposedly powerful for recollection.

I suppose touch is the biggest sense I use now, maybe followed by hearing (moans, primarily)

Which of your senses have the biggest impact on your enjoyment?

Hearing??? I think?

What effect does sensory deprivation (e.g. blindfolds, restraint) have on you?

I find blindfolds kinda meh, personally. But I do like being restrained. In general I think it has to do with feeling more “allowed” to be sexual (thanks super conservative background!)

If you have a sensory impairment or have lost the use of a sense, how has this affected you (if at all) sexually?

No, fortunately

#F4TFriday

[Food for Thought Friday] idk my bff Jill?

Maybe I’ll get this in since I’m procrastinating everything else…

What are your favourite sexual things to do?

Yes. Okay, okay. Serious answer. Oral. I enjoy giving it and definitely enjoy receiving it.

What positions do you prefer and why?

Doggie because it usually feels the best and he comes the fastest from it, so I don’t have to deal with prolonged penetration if I’m not feeling up to it.

Missionary for intimacy

A T shape for best clit stimulation

Is there a favourite place for having sex?

Not really. We usually do it in the bed, but the few times we’ve done kitchen/counter sex has been fun. I do have to wear heels, though, for height/support.

If there something you think you would enjoy but haven’t tried yet?

Yeah…being on the receiving end of a butt plug. Just haven’t gotten around to buying a smaller one for myself hah.

#F4TFriday

[Food for Thought Friday] Naturally

I think this is the second hair related FFTF I’ve answered. The next one will be about body hair in general for all I know 😂

How do you style your pubic hair? What were your reasons for choosing that style?

I don’t style it. Very, very rarely I will take a bikini line trimmer thing to it and shave it all down to barely there, but that’s like twice a year if even.

As to my reasons: ain’t nobody got time for that. Plus clean up is a PITA (so. Much. Hair.) and if a partner wants me to do it so badly then they better be shaving themselves, too. (Note: this would backfire with current SO because he actually did use to trim his pubic region before I was like “eh I don’t care.” Buuuut he doesn’t care what I do with mine so…bullet dodged?)

What are your preferences for a partner’s styling?

I have none.

Would you (or have you) ever change(d) your styling just to please a partner?

See above answer haha. I’m not going to do it for them unless they also do something similar for me. They’re getting to see me naked, so if the pubic hair is what they’re focusing on then we are clearly not long term compatible.

#F4TFriday

[Personal] Adjustment to Adulthood

I’m currently working with a therapist to…I’m not super sure what my initial reason was, to be honest. I just knew I was unhappy. Anyway! After the initial session, he diagnosed “adjustment disorder,” specifically “adjustment to adulthood.”

Which, looking at it now, after a few sessions, yeeeeeeeep. I don’t think it’s that I can’t “adult” (I can, and have been for a few years now), though. I think it’s more I’m adjusting to being my own person independent of their expectations for who I should be and what I should do.

My younger siblings better appreciate how much shit I take on just so they can breeze through my parents recognizing us as our own people.

[Food for Thought Friday] A whole decade!

I’ve got a post on body stories I keep meaning to write but haven’t… soooo here’s the Food for Thought post!

Eighteen was only… eleven years ago, for me. I’m sure in another decade some of this might change, but probably not too much.

What one part of your sex life today would most surprise the 18 year old you?

How much of it I’m having, and how little of it has me in the sub position. (I was a very repressed, sheltered 18 year old) (also, I’m definitely not “purely” or even mostly submissive so I don’t know what was wrong with young me. Probably a lack of confidence)

What one thing might shock that younger you?

How many butt plugs, and probably sex toys in general, I own (and that I know about things like body safe materials and buy lube that doesn’t come from Target) (listen, if Target started selling sliquid, I’d be all over that)

Is there anything in the younger you’s sexual ambitions or fantasies you have not yet fulfilled?

Maybe a gang bang? I’ve done pretty much everything else… I’d probably like a few more sexual experiences with women, but technically those ambitions have been minimally fulfilled

What part of the younger you’s sex life do you look back on with the most nostalgia? 

Absolutely nothing. Younger me didn’t have a sex life to really talk about. Maybe the sense of reckless abandon about all (three) the stolen, “secret” car sex moments*. But like seriously it is totally reckless for the driver to be fingering their passenger so like what were we even thinking???? (Spoiler alert: We weren’t)

*Seriously though, I can count the sexual encounters pre-PIV virginity losing me (at age 21) had. There was:

1) the body exploring/mini blow job I gave high school sweetheart that my parents ended up walking in on and causing me all sorts of terrible problems at home

2) the night of the military ball which involved both road head and fingering on the drive home

3) that one time in the parking lot at school

3b) (because not really sex) the time we made out at a pool party and got chastised for it not by parents but by a peer

4) the like two, three times in college freshman year that high school sweetheart and I mostly just touched each other’s half naked bodies. I distinctly remember the time he gave me massive hickies on my hips that I was so proud of and a friend (at the time) was APPALLED I was proud of such a thing (same peer as above)

Man. I needed better friends in college.

#F4TFriday

[Food for Thought Friday] Friends…with benefits

I’ve been pretty absent between an express course this summer and the boy being stressed out prepping for a big interview (which it looks like he’s got the job, but still waiting on the official confirmation. Just means big changes are coming down the line)

So here’s the Food for Thought Friday!

Do you agree with the assertion men and woman cannot be friends because sooner or later one person wants to have sex with the other?

No! I’m friends with several men, and have had a few friends of a male persuasion (who are no longer in my life for a myriad of non-sex reasons), and I’ve only slept with…..three of them? The boy being one, and my high school sweetheart being another. The third we don’t talk about. Granted, I’ve never really asked around if they wanted to sleep with me, but one of them is married (I was the maid of honor for his wife) and the other is in a relationship with a lovely woman so I feel like they don’t???

Have you ever had a friendship where one person did want to have sex with the other? Who was the “guilty” party, you or the other person. Was it reciprocated?

Ahem. Well. The boy was the guilty party here. And we did sleep together as friends, something I think I’ve mentioned before. So yes, reciprocated. Some of the most fun sex I had had up to that point, too.

If you answered yes to the last part, did “it” happen?

Yessssssss

“Yes” or “No” were there any consequences, good or bad? Did the friendship survive?

Well I then proceeded to date a terrible other guy for two years, and the friendship survived that. The high school sweetheart friendship didn’t survive once we broke up, not really, at least in the manner it had been. He also became very Catholic. And the third guy…well…the friendship didn’t survive, not necessarily because of the sleeping together, but he did then feel entitled to touch me even when I didn’t consent to it after that. Soooooooooo. Yeah. Consent once does not equal consent all the time.

#F4TFriday

[Food for Thought Friday] Facial Hair

What is your preference in a man, clean shaven, stubble, mustache, beard? Why?

Depends on the man! The boy has a mustache + beard combo, and he looks much better with it (he looks like he’s 12 without it). About the only one that makes me go “eeeehhhh no” is a solo mustache. Well maintained stubble can be alright, but I’d rather have full facial hair or no facial hair.

As to why…I dunno. Some people just look better with/without it

If your preference is for beards, is there a particular style you prefer a man to have?

One that’s maintained. And not super long, either.

Are there any “benefits” to having smooth/facially hirsute partner?

Less prickly during oral…. The boy was going something fantastic with his tongue last night, but the mustache portion needs some attention, so occasionally I’d just be prickled, which didn’t feel great.

Also, you don’t run the risk of fluids getting in it if there’s nothing there 😐

Ultimately, though, I’m not going to be too terribly picky about facial hair, or any of their hair in general (except I will fuss if they get a too-short haircut), because I’m not going to change my body hair preferences for them.

#F4TFriday

[Food for Thought Friday] Sex Fails

Don’t take a six week express course if you want free time. Just. Don’t.

So here are the Food for Thought questions:

What has been your most embarrassing sex “fail”?

How did it happen?

Were you able to laugh it off and move on, or did it bring things to an untimely conclusion?

I’m just going to bulk answer:

There have been lots of times when lube has gotten everywhere, or we’ve had some trouble getting a toy to work right. Oh, and whenever we use coconut oil and have a portion of it in a bowl, one of the dogs tries to lick it. Or us. So that doesn’t happen all that often anymore.

The first time the boy and I tried doggie style was a complete no-go. He had only ever done missionary, and he curves upwards. We tried a few times and eventually gave up and moved onto a different positions. Two years later when we actually started dating (yeeeeeaaaaaah that’s a story for later) we figured out how to make it work, and I am very glad for that.

Sadly, most of our sex fails are because of four/legged interference. But maybe that’s ultimately a good thing haha.

#F4TFriday