[Food for Thought Friday] Kid Cudi would be a more “pop” reference

Cause day and night…


What is your favourite time for getting it on? Do you prefer some horizontal cardio before getting out of bed? Do you like to fit in a quick session at lunchtime? Do you prefer a “nightcap” to wind down before you go to sleep?

Cop out answer: it depends. Well, except for the lunchtime one. I’m usually trying to cram other things in at lunch.

It depends on things like: did I gym that morning or evening? (Because if morning: no way–sleep time every time. I may be down for a quickie before work but likely not. If evening–yeah sex would be good because I’ll be wired from the workout)

Do I have to gym the next morning? Because noooo do not start anything I need sleep.

Actually this literally just sounds like the gym dictates my sex life and…yeah that’s really not an incorrect assessment.

Is it different at the weekends/on holidays to during the week?

Big time! Most of my sex these days happens on the weekend, whether morning or evening.

What is it about a particular time of day (or night) that puts you in the mood?

Getting adequate sleep puts me in the mood. Aaaayyyyy. I’ll show myself out.


[Food for Thought Friday] Goals!

I don’t really do New Year’s Resolutions. So this Food for Thought question set is a nice one I think I’d like to “status update” in, like, June or July.

What are your goals, dreams, ambitions for 2019?

  • Finally do an unassisted pull up
  • Use that damn tentacle dildo
  • Sell my house, move states, buy another house
  • Get married
  • Quit my job and go back to school
  • Write more. Read more.
  • Get better about not having phone distraction brain

What, if anything, do you plan to try and change about your life? Why?

Technically I’m already on track to make my big career change, and my relationship status change. I just want to be content and not feel like I’m constantly searching for work that fulfills me.

Probably slow down some. In couple’s counseling, our therapist described me as the “life force” that propels our relationship. (Have I talked about this before? Meh I blog like once a month so here’s a rehash anyway). Not only is that statement very true, but it also comes with the very big pitfall of being sort of like the energizer bunny. I keep going and going and going and then my calendar looks like an explosion of appointments and my SO is over there like “uh can we just Netflix and chill?” NO WE CANNOT. (Actually my personal therapist thinks this is because if I slow down I have to come to terms with my feelings and he’s not wrong but also I don’t really want to think about it.). So I should slow down. And actually let myself feel all the things I’m suppose to feel. Because how can you properly appreciate the good things if you’re too busy to even acknowledge there might be bad things?

Where do you see yourself in 12 months time?

Broke, because quitting my full time job and going back to school isn’t cheap.

Also, I’ll be 30 in the next twelve months. I cannot wait haha (legitimately). So in 12 months I hope I’ve continued living the life I want to cultivate and not the life that’s expected of me.

On a more…controversial(?) note: I have been getting back into identifying as a feminist. College me is proud. (College me be like “what’s this ‘equalist’ shit? What does that even mean?”) So while I don’t think I’ll be hardcore getting into things like pussy hats and slut walks (partially because hats ruin my hair), I will be moving to, ah, the American Deep South, which means I hope in twelve months I’m still sticking firm to the belief the patriarchy fucks us all and should be dismantled eeeeever sooooo slightly (okay a lot-ly)

Also also, I better not be in jail. Cause I’m moving very close to my future MIL. (Bless. Her. Heart.)


[Wicked Wednesday] Time in a Bottle

This turned out nothing like I expected.

The song is by Jim Croce, and if we were doing a first dance at our wedding, it would be my pick.


The photo album has made it through several moves and family generations. The pages are yellowed, the people in the photos practically strangers–except for tell-tale facial characteristics.

It sits on the shelf, unopened, mostly forgotten. But it’s there. It holds memories–celebrations, joyful unions, tearful goodbyes–easy to access, harder to recall.

No one in the album is around to relay the stories the images capture. They’re lost to all but the slumbering subconscious running through family folklore of bygone years.

One day, it’ll be time for the album to move again. Its current owners will join the ranks of those who have passed, further removing its secrets and anecdotes from the lineage still alive.

But the album has patience. It can wait for the curious prying of what-came-before. The memories it stores still have meaning. And new memories will join it, sitting on the shelf, waiting for curious reminiscing.


Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

[Food for Thought Friday] I think I can…actually finish a post!

Fiancé gets into town tonight for a month. We’ve exchanged like 80 preparatory sexts. My body is ready. So on that note: Food for Thought Friday!

(Side note: I did finally get almost completely caught up on all my blog post reading. So. Maybe I’ll be better about posting XD)

If intercourse (vaginal or anal) is not your main form of sexual activity, what do you do?

Oral. Lots and lots of oral. Vaginal intercourse is a very distinct “have to be in the right mind set” for, and anal requires much more prep. Oral also consistently feels the best for both of us.

Is there a particular reason that intercourse is not your primary or predominant sexual activity?

I sort of answered this above. But yeah–as far as “feeling good” goes, it’s lower on the list

For those people for whom intercourse is the predominant means of having sex, what other sexual activities do you frequently partake in?

We did recently acquire a Tenga Flip Hole and apparently it feels better than a handjob (I ain’t mad, I wanted it because handjobs bore me haha).

Are there any activities that are definite no-go areas for you? Why is this?

…No? Maybe? Scat’s the big one. I probably also wouldn’t be down with whatever the one where like. You have sex with gaping wounds. Just seems unsanitary.


[Food for Thought Friday] Hurricanes and blogging

So I may have mentioned before that I live in Florida. But more specifically, I live in the panhandle which was recently rocked by a Category 4 hurricane. It wiped out a whole town essentially, plus severely crippled a lot of others in Florida and Georgia. Places are looking at a month, if not longer, without power–assuming they have more than a slab to go back to. About a half dozen school districts are closed until further notice, as well, and temperatures are still reaching the high 80s/low 90s during the day.

My city got lucky, we just had like 90% of the city without power (plus miscellaneous tree damage to homes), and most of that has been restored a week later. I fortunately wasn’t in town (nor was my dog), and my house came through without damage. (Plus my power was restored within 36 hours, so major luck. I had friends without for five days.)

I don’t have a call to action here, except maybe that climate change is real and it’s important to vote for politicians who believe in it.

Anyway. Onto the questions for this week.

Where do the ideas for your content come from? 

When I’m on top of things (so never), either real life, various prompts, or just whatever has been rattling around in my brain.

How do you get inspiration? Who or what inspires what you post?

Boredom in my job/life is what usually gets me posting (hence why it drastically dropped off when life got busy). I also use to occasionally write fan fiction (no I won’t link it), so having a sexual wiring outlet is helpful. In all honesty, I think if my fiancé was more okay talking about our sex life with other people, I would post more content. It would likely mostly be elaborations on various fantasies or scenarios I’ve sexted him (or we’ve done)

How do you decide  what to share, and why?

I mostly decide what I’m not going to share. Like photos. If I wasn’t worried about doxxing, I’d post for the photo prompts. Directed stuff is a little easier to respond to, although I am incredibly behind in my blog reading

And this is after I made an effort to get through everything…..

I’m just going to chalk it up to being an Aries


[Food for Thought Friday] Me Party

So it turns out going long distance, planning a wedding and an interstate move, working way too many jobs and trying to properly take care of the dogs and house leaves me super busy. Bleah. I’m trying to write this one on a walk, but it’s dependent on them cooperating.

What activities do you indulge in to take care of you?

I gym, I bake, and I try to eat (relatively) healthy. I need to work on just taking time to chill out, but it’s hard when I’m the only one having to handle a to-do list so long it’s a multitab spreadsheet (I wish I was kidding)

How regularly do you make time for yourself?

Probably over half the week. Ideally it would be every day, but I haven’t figured out how to work something quick and simple into a daily schedule.

Is your sex life part of your self-care regime and, if so, what part does it play and how?

I’d probably say no, honestly. Maybe when we’re doing aftercare/cuddling stuff? But sex is mentally taxing, so it’s harder to justify it under self-care. Fortunately it’s not quite a chore, though


[Food for Thought Friday] There’s a pun for this…but I’ll spare you

How do you employ your senses to enhance your enjoyment of sex?

Hmm. This is a tough one. I’m sure I do? I just can’t think of any specific way. Since we’re about to go long distance, I’ve been meaning to add perfume to our sex scenes so he associates the smell with me, since it’s supposedly powerful for recollection.

I suppose touch is the biggest sense I use now, maybe followed by hearing (moans, primarily)

Which of your senses have the biggest impact on your enjoyment?

Hearing??? I think?

What effect does sensory deprivation (e.g. blindfolds, restraint) have on you?

I find blindfolds kinda meh, personally. But I do like being restrained. In general I think it has to do with feeling more “allowed” to be sexual (thanks super conservative background!)

If you have a sensory impairment or have lost the use of a sense, how has this affected you (if at all) sexually?

No, fortunately


[Food for Thought Friday] idk my bff Jill?

Maybe I’ll get this in since I’m procrastinating everything else…

What are your favourite sexual things to do?

Yes. Okay, okay. Serious answer. Oral. I enjoy giving it and definitely enjoy receiving it.

What positions do you prefer and why?

Doggie because it usually feels the best and he comes the fastest from it, so I don’t have to deal with prolonged penetration if I’m not feeling up to it.

Missionary for intimacy

A T shape for best clit stimulation

Is there a favourite place for having sex?

Not really. We usually do it in the bed, but the few times we’ve done kitchen/counter sex has been fun. I do have to wear heels, though, for height/support.

If there something you think you would enjoy but haven’t tried yet?

Yeah…being on the receiving end of a butt plug. Just haven’t gotten around to buying a smaller one for myself hah.


[Food for Thought Friday] Naturally

I think this is the second hair related FFTF I’ve answered. The next one will be about body hair in general for all I know 😂

How do you style your pubic hair? What were your reasons for choosing that style?

I don’t style it. Very, very rarely I will take a bikini line trimmer thing to it and shave it all down to barely there, but that’s like twice a year if even.

As to my reasons: ain’t nobody got time for that. Plus clean up is a PITA (so. Much. Hair.) and if a partner wants me to do it so badly then they better be shaving themselves, too. (Note: this would backfire with current SO because he actually did use to trim his pubic region before I was like “eh I don’t care.” Buuuut he doesn’t care what I do with mine so…bullet dodged?)

What are your preferences for a partner’s styling?

I have none.

Would you (or have you) ever change(d) your styling just to please a partner?

See above answer haha. I’m not going to do it for them unless they also do something similar for me. They’re getting to see me naked, so if the pubic hair is what they’re focusing on then we are clearly not long term compatible.


[Personal] Adjustment to Adulthood

I’m currently working with a therapist to…I’m not super sure what my initial reason was, to be honest. I just knew I was unhappy. Anyway! After the initial session, he diagnosed “adjustment disorder,” specifically “adjustment to adulthood.”

Which, looking at it now, after a few sessions, yeeeeeeeep. I don’t think it’s that I can’t “adult” (I can, and have been for a few years now), though. I think it’s more I’m adjusting to being my own person independent of their expectations for who I should be and what I should do.

My younger siblings better appreciate how much shit I take on just so they can breeze through my parents recognizing us as our own people.